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Sunday, March 29, 2015

HMR chocolate cereal cookies

I'm sick of drinking shakes every single day. Although I love my protein shakes, this cold weather makes it hard to gag down something cold and slushy. I need something chewy and crisp. Therefore I hunted on pintrest for some new ideas. Although there were many recipes, I wasn't entirely satisfied. Meet my old/new friend. The cookie. Now a lot of my weight problem was attributed to being a Cookie Monster already. But these, these are made with everything they recommend on the HMR diet. Here are the basic ingredients. 


The PB2 can be regular peanut butter or like I used with chocolate. I do both ways. Although I'm addicted to chocolate so I used this one in this particular recipe. 
Pre-heat your oven to 350 now. Cause you're gonna want to make these. 😳


Ingredients:
2 scoops chocolate shake
2 tbl PB2
1tsp baking powder
A mini pinch of kosher salt 
3/4 cup water 
2 packs of cereal. 

You can add artificial sweetener if that's your thing, I don't. Not a personal fan. 

Combine ingredients until you get a smooth looking batter. 

Then scoop 8 cookies onto a parchment lined pan. 

Bake at 350 for 30 minutes. I love them warm. 



. They count as 1 shake per cookie if you do it like that. 

I eat two a day. One for breakfast and one for an afternoon snack with coffee. 

Click like and subscribe for more recipes. 




Monday, February 2, 2015

Mama Masagna Lasagna


 3 years ago, in October, my "Mama Masagna Lasagna" or "Holly's Lasagna" was born.  It was created out of necessity and love.  My husband's cousin's son was diagnosed with a rare cancer called Burkitt's lymphoma at the age of 15.  His mom is also a good friend of mine, and she's a single mother who has a bit of a hard time accepting help because she's so used to doing things on her own. He was on a very vigorous and aggressive form of 45 days of chemotherapy.  Once a month, I would hand make and deliver my homemade Lasagna for him, I'd make other foods for him and other families but this was his favorite. It made him happy, he came to expect it, and looked forward to it.  And when you are dealing with a young person going through Chemo, you will do anything possible to make that little persons life better.  I would take care of my family making at the same time making two pans at once, or throw one in the freezer for dinner on another day. I became obsessed fine tuning my Lasagna recipe.  I had a lot of time to work on it over a course of a year.  Most every time I would include a nourishing salad, and bread, or garlic toast, and a steamed vegetable.  I would also throw in bottles of hand soap, cause we know germs are very serious to people going through treatment, and other random things that didn't cost much, but would be comforting like cookies and cake. 
 My kids have always loved the recipe I used for years,pre 2012, and now they have been exposed to my personalized recipe which is fail proof and now they're ruined to all other Lasagnas.  In fact, if my sister-in-law, mother-in-law, or aunt-in-law are reading this, which I doubt they would, Matt is ruined to my lasagna too.  He prefers mine over yours... any day of the week, so if you want to do a cook off, we can. Fuck it, call Bobby Flay and lets do a "Throw Down". Side note to my family-in-law, until you start to pack your own home grown tomatoes and vegetables that you put in your sauce, it's not homemade. If you didn't jar it, or make it from fresh tomato, it's not from scratch. Don't give me shit about the stuff I buy in a jar, instead of your carcinogen festering shit you dump out of your tin cans into a pot and call you "own" sauce.  Cause news flash, ''my sauce" is just as homemade as yours and far more tasty (and less work).  You don't need to be from the old country to pull this dish off... you need my shortcuts and tips to pull it off, so take note.

Mama's Masagna





Ingredients:
1 1/2 jars of Barilla Marinara
9 to12 lasagna noodles that you need to boil (depending on the size of your pan)
10 oz. Ricotta Cheese, from your local deli, not a container next to the cream cheese that was packed weeks ago. 
3 cups Mozzarella divided, fresh is best too, and cheaper at your deli 
1 egg, I like egglands best, organic brown are good.
Parsley dried or fresh
1 or two cloves of garlic pressed or 1/2 tsp garlic paste
1/2 medium onion diced fine
1/4 cup organic carrots diced fine
1lb ground organic turkey 93% fat free
1 Cup Parmesan Cheese Divided


Step One- Get your meat browned in a pan on the stove with the garlic, carrot, and onion.  Don't mess about with that meat, make sure your break it up really tiny. You don't want to have big chunks of meat when you bite into this lasagna. I like to use a pampered chef thingy that breaks it down into crumbs. Add a whole jar of your sauce to the meat once it's browned all the way through.  You also need to get a large pot of water started for the noodles, and get that water boiling.  Make sure to add a pinch of salt in there. Not only does the salt make the water heat faster, it also is a great flavor agent to those noodles. 
Step Two- Once the water is boiling, add 3 or 4 noodles in there at a time. Now this is where people commonly fuck up, so listen up! Only boil the noodles you need per layer at a time. It seems like more work, but it's not. This way you don't have noodles ripping, falling apart, cooking longer when piled up and sticking together.  Don't forget to set a timer for 7 mins. Not 8 or 9 like the package recommends, you want them firm and to still be able to absorb extra sauce.  You don't want your lasagna too dry or too moist.  While those noodles are getting loose, you can whip up your cheese filling. This is my favorite part cause it's a little messy.  Get a large bowl out and you need to dump all 10 oz of Ricotta, 2 Cups of Mozzarella, and 1/2 Cup of Parmesan, and your beaten up egg. Mix until it's a golden mess of cheese. Then add your parsley flakes, don't be shy with those, they make your cheese look so professional and lovely when some one's eating it, they are like,'wow, look how pretty, is that parsley?'
Step Three- Pre-heat your oven to 350, and lets get this pan started! Put a 1/4 cup of your 1/2 of a jar sauce in the bottom of your 11x9 pan. Then you are going to spread that out as best as you can. Don't put too much, it's basically there to flavor your noodles and make it so your noodles don't stick to the pan. Now layer your noodles you just pulled out of the water.  You need to put 3 or 4 more noodles in the water and set your timer again.
Step Four-  Ladle 1/2 of your meat sauce on the noodle bed you just made.  Then get your cookie scooper out, and lets make 12-15 scoops of cheese on top of your noodles. Make it look awesome and spaced out pretty like your a boss in your kitchen.  Cause you are the boss!!! Do it!
Step Five- Your timer just went off again, and it's time to repeat the same thing you just did. You want to make sure you put your noodles on top of that cheese, and sort of press down on those noodles to flatten out the mounds of cheese you laid there.  Then you're going to ladle the rest of your meat mixture on the noodles and layer the cheese on top of the sauce again with your scooper. You will have no cheese or meat sauce left at this point. And that's a good thing! if you do, hold it to the side and make a tiny lasagna for a frozen lunch. 
Step Six-Layer your last layer of noodles, and shut off your stove. Don't forget to pat those noodles down before you do anything else. You don't want a lumpy lasagna from that cheese you spooned on there. Top your noodles with a layer of the plain sauce with no meat that you have left over. Then sprinkle your 1 cup of mozzarella and Parm that you reserved earlier. Then coat with a nice layer of parsley. Gotta go get that parsley if you haven't already, it makes presentation professional and your loved ones will think you are the coolest person ever, guaranteed, even if they don't admit it until they have children of there own. They remember this type of stuff and will come to expect it. 
Step Seven- Cover that little pan of love with a tent of tin foil.  You need to bake it for 40 minutes at 350.  Then take the foil off and let it bake another 15. Take it out and let it cool 5-10 minutes. Most people skip this part, but if you really want to use your taste buds, let it cool down and breathe so your tongue doesn't get blistered!

Here's a pic of how I like to serve it to my kids. They love it.  I know it seems pretty standard of a recipe, but this is exactly how I make it, and people talk about it for days. 

Sunday, February 1, 2015

been a few years...

This is my first blog in a long time.  Although I used to use this blog to express my anger about weight loss, I've decided to document my cooking skills for all my fellow domestic divas to come and worship my awesomeness.  I still struggle daily with my weight, I think that will continue for the rest of my life.  I am a little overweight still but constantly working on improving myself and reversing the hands of time.  Tonight, Super Bowl Sunday my husband gave me 2 requests.  He wanted deep dish Pizza for dinner AND since it's a blizzard outside, there is no way the Sorrento's delivery guys is getting down my court, so that means I'm making it.  2nd request was Nachos, and since I have an awesome recipe for Nachos- I can whip those up blindfolded, and I'll post the recipe for those on later day!  So since we watched a food network show the other night that showed how to make a pizza in the crock pot, and I have all the ingredients laying around in my cupboards, this shit is ON!

Crock Pot Chicago Style Pizza

(yes, in a crock pot Bitches!)
Ingredients:
1/2 lb Pre-made Pizza Dough (weigh it!)
1/4 Cup Pasta Sauce or Pizza Sauce (Barilla Marinara is the bomb!)
10/12 slices of Provolone Cheese or Mozzarella
Pepperonis, Meat, Chorizo, Veggies, (and whatever else you wanna throw on there)
1/4 C Parmesan Cheese
1TBS Olive Oil
Step One- Proof that Dough! Let that little soft squishy lump bathe in a bowl with that Oil. Make sure it's covered on all sides, cover with a towel and throw it in the microwave. It's a quiet little special place for your dough to reflect on it's life's events, and what is expected of it in the next couple hours.

Step Two- Put that slimy little pouf of dough into the crock pot.  Punch that dough into submission. *If you are a 50 shades fan, please adorn the S&M stuff in the bedroom only.
Leave the lid off your crock pot, and turn it up to High.  Set the timer on your phone for 1 hour. Walk away from your future love affair of Chicago style pizza. Go clean the kids closet if you are one of those multi-taskers.  Me? I would totally take this time to read a book and put my feet up, my husband assumes that I do this all day long, there's no point in proving him wrong at this point in the game. So read something good and make every minute of relaxation COUNT!

Step Three- Your timer has gone off, now comes the fun decorating part. Your pizza will look like a dried up piece of dough that couldn't possibly turn into something amazing, but trust me it will! If its gooey in the middle, leave it in another 15 minutes.  You should be able to lift the crust out in one piece if you wanted to.
Now that I've determined the dough is good to go, I usually yell for my kids to come up and make their pizza.  They put the cheese down first, which will melt upon placement, and that's OK. Make sure you over lap the edge of the pot and the pizza about a half inch all the way around. That cheese is going to make that old tired looking crust into the sexy beast of your pizza dreams! Then place your meat and veggies, cover with the sauce and top with Parmesan.  

Set your timer again for another hour.  This time be even more selfish with your time and do something like sleep.  I think sleeping sounds like an amazing idea. We all need a nap, go do it girl! You deserve it.  Or a glass of wine or two while you talk on the phone with your BFF for an hour on the phone about what an asshole her husband is.
Step Four- Your house smells amazing and you are almost ready for dinner. All that's left to do is lift this hog out of your crock pot. It should be easy, cut around the outside first and then lift it out onto a cutting board and serve!

Hope you enjoyed, and follow my blog, I'll keep you cooking and entertained with all the shenanigans I pull off for dinner! 

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Day 1 of cleanse #2

Ok so I got on the scale this morning... Only to be surprised, which was a good thing. I'm still down the 13lbs I lost from my last cleanse. I'll be happy with another 10 gone from my hips butt and thighs... But 25 like Matt did last time would be even better!
So 2012's first cleanse, you better be a good one cause I want to have a great year!
However I'm typing this blog on my phone and my fingers are exhausted because I'm so hungry from lack of evening snack like I usually have:(. I want chips! Bags of them! Every flavor, I want them! I'm going through fat withdrawals. Please someone feed me! I had a mild headache all day today. I contributed it to lack of carbs. Munching chips, crackers, having sugar and breads have been my thing the last couple days, as ive been binge eating. So now I just want them do bad! It's not cool. But you know what is cool? When my cleanse is at like day 4 and I feel lightening and general well being... I have been a bad girl this holiday season and now it's time to pay the fiddler! Anyway, I'm struggling tonight as my head hurts and my tummy growls. But soon enough it will be day 11. And I'll be feeling AWESOME!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

9 lbs

Honestly, i haven't weighed myself in days. For fears that the lbs would be steadily reappearing in my jeans, ive avoided it like a 1-800 collection call. Even if my jeans have gone down one size and I'm comfortable in a size smaller than what has been normal, I still feel like I've gained weight. I eventually get to the scale this morning and sure as shit I lost another pound of butt. It for sure is vacating the butt premises faster than the gut, as long as it's going... I'm down with it. Matt on the other hand looks like he weighs 87 lbs and has enormous knuckles and knees. He's pissing me off today like none other. We had grilled chicken with this awesome bourbon glaze from tastefully simple last night, brown rice and steamed broccoli, with a lot left over. So I reheated it for lunch for the whole family... He only ate half a chicken breast and like 1/2 cup of rice just to prove he's so skinny or something. He was "stuffed". My ass, what's stuffed are my thighs in these tiny ass jeans I can finally fit into, and I feel obligated to only take a bite of my chicken to one-up him and win the silent lunch battle we are having. 20 mins after lunch I totally indulge in one of the meal replacement shake that's only 210 calories and tastes like carnation instant breakfast but a really big serving size of it. And a tasty handful of almonds. I love my almonds!
Dinner tonight I made his day by making his favorite, meatloaf. With ground turkey and didn't tell him it was turkey. He told me it's the best meatloaf I've ever made while I silently laugh hysterically in my head! He thinks he ate all these calories, and it was only a fraction of the calories. And he's so thankful that red meat is back at the table... Haha!!! No red meat for you!!!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Dark days of dieting

5 nights ago at about 4 in the morning, or there about, I awoke to a loud crack. Matt and I both sprang from bed and both assumed that someone had broken in or was trying to. After an ugly underwear parade throughout the house to rule out any criminal activity, we both return to our bed and matt is snoring before he hits the pillow. Me, I'm crazy anxiety person trying to decipher what the heck the noise was is WIDE awake. Suddenly my heightened sense of awareness puts me into fight or flight mode as my king sized bed collapses on my side. metal sheared through wood. My fat ass broke my bed. And of course only after 15 days of intense and very dedicated decisions of what to eat and when to eat it... It breaks. Not 16 days ago or 8 lbs heavier. Nope, not when I needed an aha moment. After I have been struggling to make each day without diet coke, coffee and cheese my stupid, over priced, Artvan rip off collapses on me. So the truth is, why haven't I been writing? Why did I eat a cheeseburger and a cupcake, and 3 cookies...? My bed broke and honestly it broke a little bit of my heart too. I really dedicated myself, and the setback nearly finished me off because I'm fragile. I'm looking for any excuse to say this diet doesn't work, or it's not for me, or I'm failing. Because admitting defeat and returning to my old habits is so much easier than fighting this battle. 24 days isn't going to fix my bed, make me a size 2 or sing me a love song... It's 24 days of a wakeup call. Calling on all the back up and support I can muster up... This battle has only just begun.


Stupid Artvan, I needed a wake up call just not at 4 am.

Lazy days- food therapy

I'm sure I'd be getting more out of my challenge, but I've fallen victim to the cupcake. the last week, the beginning of the 14 day leg of my weight loss journey have been a game of dodgeball for me. I'm dodging fats and dairy as I'm finding those foods are what are slowing down my digestion and making my tummy bloat and feel like a sock filled with two water balloons. Typically if I consume brown rice with any meal I feel the opposite. I feel like the water balloons are back up in my bra where they should be. Speaking of my bra, I feel like it's fitting me better and I can cinch it one notch more with every day I eat right.
As for my sugar addictions, I've fallen victim to the cupcake for Drew's birthday yesterday and before that I've only messed up one more time. And I feel like the Cadillac dealership is to blame for that. Every time we buy a new car there, they send us a tin full of toxic sin cookies. The kind that make you wanna put a scrunchie in your hair, by way of a side pony tail (so when you lay on the couch your head isn't bothered by the bump of your regular pony), take out your contacts and eat the whole tin of cookies while watching lifetime or hallmark channels in your sweatsuit from walmart. Forget about the juicy velour jumpsuit you bought to lounge in pre-baby or your pink Victoria secret pants you bought that now make you have two guts. These cookies are so chewy they could be considered still raw. They make you feel like one really is so thin, if you ate two it should still be considered as just one cause if you stacked them they would be equal to a homemade one. I'm sure I'm the only one following that tangent... But I feel better now, like I took all the power away from those effing cookies just by getting into depth about how they make me feel.
Fall is a hard time to really control your diet. I figure if I can make it through the holidays, I can make it through anything. Halloween I really would love to eradicate from my calendar, it's the reason American kids are fat arses. I would love to strap a feed bag of twix and snickers to my face and spend the day laying in bed... But I'd feel like crap, so wont. Sugar like that only makes my stomach sick, my head hurt and my ass heavier for myself to carry around.
On the agenda rest of the day, steak dreams and enjoying the 75 degree weather.

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